No GDMI today. Just Ma, Pa and Me! The Three T’s (Tim, Tracey and Teddy) and we went and hit the town!
We set off with me guiding Ma out in front and Pa tagging along a little way behind us. We went through Temptation Twitten and Ma was super pleased with me for not even attempting to snaffle anything! When we got to the other end, I think she made a bit of a mistake though: she insisted on a ‘Find left’ – I tried my bestest to correct her – Pets at Home is a ‘Find right’! She wasn’t giving in though! So we went left to the kerb, then across the road and around the barrier gate things where I have to ‘Steady’ and weave us right then left and then on along the pawment. I tried to shimmy across to the right then to ‘Find the box’ but Ma insisted on ‘Not today. Straight on’. I did protest a little but she was most definite we were going straight on. I surrendered! We didn’t go far – just to a bus stop. I took the chance for a lie down – well there’s no point wasting the opportunity! Eventually the bus came and we got on. Ma sat on one of those sideways seats, so I had plenty of room to stretch out. Ma kept disturbing my slumbers though – every time any hoomans got on or off the bus, she told me to ‘Upsit’. Apparently my legs are too long to leave across the floor!
We got off in familiar territory and set off to find ‘Sainsbrees’ where I got some admirations from the workyshehoomans in the dark place called Argos. (Well, Ma says it is dark and she struggles to see anymuch in that bit). I kept her safe though and took her to ‘Find the checkout’, where Pa gave a big box back.
Then I had to ‘Find the door’ and we set off on a bit of a trek through the streets where I had to do the traffic training with Ma. Eventually, we got to the nice little park there and Ma produced my playbell and clipped it onto my collar, removed my harness. We did the preplay drill of ‘Sit. Down. Upsit’. Lead off and ‘3-2-1-Go Play!’ I most certainly did go play – I played zoomies for a quick blast then I played rolly-polies and got myself a delectable new aroma! Ma called me a honking grotbag! Her face went like a pug when she got hold of my collar! I trust that is a compliment!
After a good romp around the park, it was back into harness and off for another workies to find a shop. When we did find one, I had to stay outside with Ma while Pa went in. He came out with a pack of little wet square things. Ma then set about attacking my newly perfumed areas with them, and Pa attacked my collar with them. I was not overly impressed with this procedure but I suppose it was bit of a massage! Apparently it rendered my niff tolerable enough to go on into town, so we workiesded all the way.
First stop was a hooman slurpery, so, after taking Ma into the hooman spending room where she sploshed and frothed her paws, I got to enjoy a bit of a snooze under the table.
Then we went into the shoppy areas. First stop was a shehoomans’ coverings shop, where I got another brief lie down while the workyshehooman did some pawprodding on a window thing. It seems it told her that they didn’t have what Ma wanted, so we left again. Next stop was a pawpad shop. This one was more succesful – Ma got some new pawpads and that made her smiley!
We visited another couple of shops and then finally went into one called Spexavers. We were in there for ages. Ma was searching for new looker-windows, so I had to do a ‘Down Stay’ for a while, then got a full and proper snooze under a tiny table while the hoomans did a load of woofing.
Finally, we workiesded to the busstop and caught the bus home. No upsitting this time – I had the whole big space all to myself!
Back home aboard chuggyboathome, Ma seriously assaulted me! It was awful! I don’t know how I survived! She attacked me with a bowl of wetsplosh, a blob of frothystuff and a square thing called a flannel. I mean……how cruel to put that bowl of nasty wetsplosh right in front of me and then to get my neck and chest all soggy with it. Then to add to the torture with froth, and then to do so very much sploshing to remove the froth again!!! I mean…..why put it there if you’re just going to splosh it off again??? Stoopid Hooman behaviour!!! Now, apparently I smell much nicer! Huhhhh! I beg to differ!
My dinner produced forgiveness…..I think…..I shall contemplate this matter while I lie down on this pink towel …..